Green wave hits Brighton

Don’t worry, it’s not an environmental disaster! No, a new green festival ‘Green Wave’ - billed as ‘The Eco Family Fun Weekend’ - is headed for Brighton on Saturday 5 and Sunday 6 July.

You’ll be able to experience all the fun of the green fair in the beautiful setting of Preston Park with eight different interactive Zones, from the Earth Zone - where you might find wormeries, composting ideas and a mini eco farm - to the Energy Zone, for products harnessing sustainable energy, ranging from mobile phones to solar powered cars, and an Energy Play Area or eco circus for children. (click on the image to the right to see the flyer full size)

The emphasis is very much on our favourite watchwords: biodiversity, eco-friendly, Fairtrade, homemade, locally produced, low carbon footprint, recycled and sustainable!

Take a stand!

If you are a Sussex-based ethical business, charity or NGO there is still time for you to take a stand at the fair. Charities and NGOs are eligible for free stands, and there may even be a few free stands available for small ethical businesses that add value or pure fun to the event!

If you are interested in this opportunity, do get in touch with the organisers:

Frank Jay on 01273 323 200 or 07721 633 233 or at frank@neweraassociates.co.uk

Or Jacqui on 01273 323 200 or 07740 201194 or at jac.cuff@talktalk.net

Or simply download the Green Wave booking form and return it to them.

It should be a fantastic event!

Take care,

Katie
Ethical Weddings

Great Summer Reads to Wake up Your Sex Life

When I think of summer, I have this picture of long lazy days by the water,  listening for the distant voices of my children while I wander off into a great book,  quietly stepping into some new ways of thinking or sharing in the stories of life that change us just by hearing them.   Ana Freud said  “Sex is something we do, sexuality is who we are.”  What better time than the brief interludes of warm sunny days to ponder the mystery of intimacy,  with fresh insights and revelations to bring increased clarity to how we live our sexuality as well as fun and passion to what we do with the people we love most. 

Understanding ourselves as sexual beings and building a language to explore who we are in these mysterious places is a large task.  For some people, the taboo of adding language to sexual acts keeps them silent and unfulfilled.   Even for me,  the loveologist that sells love products and can say the words “oral sex” to perfect strangers,  I can often find myself silent with my husband,  lacking the know how and the courage to describe my fantasies or describe the kind of touch that most moves me.   

When I received my copy of “Getting the Sex You Want”  by my friend Tammy Nelson, the director of the Center for Healing and Recovery and Passionate Partnerships  I was both  curious and a little skeptical.     Based on the couples therapy work she has been doing at her office in Connecticut, Tammy offers up some well known techniques and strategies for building the communication skills to connect with your partner.   The communications method, which is based on the work of Harville Hendrix’s work “Getting the Love You Want”  felt a bit contrived at first, but she quickly demonstrates how basic communication skills applied to our intimate lives has the power to revolutionize what you are doing in the bedroom and quickly spills over into the rest of your relationship. 

One example she shared of a husband who had so much shame about masturbation (and don’t we all share a bit of that…) experienced such a huge relief when he was finally able to talk about his needs of sharing the experience in their sex life together   The book was full of examples  and exercises to try by yourself or with your partner that demonstrated how a shared and agreed upon method of communicating about sex could easily turn into inspiring new found abilities to express sexual needs and desires.  I was so impressed with the book that I tried the technique myself later that week.   Things that I had never thought of saying to my husband suddenly seemed possible.  

The first question that anyone going to a sex therapist asks is “Am I normal?”  This question and the fear of what it might mean if we deviate from normal in our sexuality can control our lives and our relationships.  Another book that has recently come across my desk ,  Tantra for Erotic Empowerment (by Michaels and Johnson) is an active workbook of sexual self discovery.  The books premise that giving and extending permission to experience ourselves as sexual beings without fear of shame or rejection is truly the ground work for profound change and acceptance in the entire relationship. 

While I don’t have that much personal experience with Tantra practices,  I would say that anyone who is learning to love their partner in a long term relationship is bound  to encounter where the physical and spiritual worlds meet in lovemaking.   Understanding  our sexuality in the context of our human nature normalizes as well as sanctify this most mysterious form of human communication.  Unlike many books written about tantric practices, which can get really esoteric,  this one provides a clear map for the beginner as well as deeper insights for the tantric practioner.   Even if all the content is not for you, there are enough thought provoking exercises to keep the book interesting long after the sun sets.  

If you haven’t already read a review about Bonk by Mary Roach, let me say that there is nothing quite like actual sex history to wake you up to the wide and and amazing world of human sexuality.   She is a meticulous researcher and has a genuine sense of humor that alleviates any embarrassment you might be feeling about reading about the extremely checkered history that our discomfort with our sexuality has created through the centuries.  It will probably help you feel better about the places you are still stuck, and if you ever wondered where some of the far out porn fantasies came from- read sex history.   Even if you don’t want to own this book, reserve it at your local library.  Some fun fact from the book will spur some exciting discussion at your next barbeque. 

Here’s to a summer memorable for how we all learn to love more and show it in ways that will keep you connected long into winter. 

IN THE CLOSET :: Know your clothing

On April 20, 2008 I went into my closet and cut all the content and care labels out of my clothes. My idea was to use these in an artwork about global warming. We can lessen the impact that our clothing has on the environment by examining clothing content labels closely. After examining my own clothes I thought, “what have I done all my life?” I have been oblivious to the fundamentals of clothing and had not been as aware as I had hoped.

My vintage clothes didn’t have any content labels so I gathered that we have made big improvements with clothing regulations. One vintage label said, “This jacket can only be washed by specialized cleaners.” I guess that was the early stages of dry cleaning.

My outdoor clothing didn’t come close to being earthy at all. My “sin-chilla” did me wrong. All my waterproof gear put a drain on my sense of green. Hey, when did canvas become nylon and how much polypropylene can girl own? Breathable, but perhaps not environmentally bearable.

The brand names that made me feel good – names geared to ignite emotions of pure love, goodness, hope and peace – made me cringe when I read some of the materials used and the distance they travelled to get to me.

I have some long underwear made of Cap-eye-lene. And, sorry to say that most of my wool sweaters have acrylic in them. My little black dress is rayon, like bamboo, regenerated natural cellulose turned into a man-made “fiber.”

I have a few items with 10% steel in them, how bold is that? There is a pair of yoga pants made of hemp that made perfect sense. I am now very proud of my USA made organic fleece hoodie.

It took some work, unfolding, finding the tag, cutting gently so as not to cut a hole, refolding again and again. I thought about how we are beginning to work on making our clothing, from field to final wear, green. We are discovering what questions to ask:

- Where are our clothes made (domestic or overseas?)
- What are our clothes made of (man-made or natural content?)
- How are our clothes made (processing and production methods?)
- How do our clothes get to us (how far has it traveled?)
- How long will our clothing last (materials and trends?)
- How is our clothing cared for (care instructions and durability?)
- What type of businesses are we supporting? (transparency?)

By knowing more about materials and methods we can contribute to a healthier environment by making our choices heard. As I learn to read clothing labels I imagine “my look” will be changing. I imagine clothing producers will have to follow suit.

Living in Gravity

I was in our local hospital emergency room the other night.  I was comforting my 10 year old daughter awaiting a surgical repair to her broken and dislocated arm.   All the rooms were full with some degree of trauma and pain.   This is not exceptional, emergency room visits occur over 114 million times a year in the United States alone.  We live in a world with gravity, as my ten year old experienced with her recent bad landing on an unfortunate trampoline bounce.  At some time or another we all miss and fall,  and the force of gravity bears on us all equally,  where we hit the ground-  but we’re not running. 

The other gravity of life takes hold at these moments that often usher in serious injury and grave tragedy.  We are never prepared for the end of anything, even if we are fully aware of the statistics and uncertainty that qualify life.   How could we go about the fullness of life’s activities and challenges expecting tragedy to fall with the even handedness that the universal law of gravity metes out?    In order to keep it all going, we  move forward with the naïve expectation that the difficult and challenging experiences in life only happen to other people, not to us.   Sooner or later, even the luckiest among us joins the ranks of surviving.    

I had just started reading I Will Not Be Broken by Jerry White, the day before I spent the night in the emergency room.   I have suffered illnesses and diseases with my children before, some that seemed like they would define life forever.   I remembered his words about how when people suffer a major loss of any kind, they all carry  a date.  This is the moment when tragedy, loss and surviving transformed their lives.   As I sat in the  ICU waiting room, hearing hushed conversations around me,  I knew that some of that date setting was going on right there.  I felt so grateful that all I had in front of me in the middle of the night is getting a girl through summer without the pool.   

That is another phenomenon of tragedy that happens for most of us.  We often end up comparing our loss to those of others we know or have heard of.   Even in the most dire of circumstances,   survivors find gratitude,  their problem is manageable compared to people they know.   Jerry White, himself was the victim of life changing loss when early in his twenties, he lost his lower leg in a minefield outside of Jerusalem.  His book is an account of the years he has spent founding the Survivors Corp and he shares the gravity and grief of daily life on planet earth along with  remarkable stories of resiliency.  

 Tragedy and loss is not limited to bodily events,  the emotional wreckage that can result from dysfunctional relationships is no less an issue of survivorship than losing a limb as I was recently reminded from one of my readers.   She asked me to write of the loss and trauma of reinventing a life after being left and abandoned in her long term relationship. I hear these kinds of stories everyday,  where the heart can become so bruised that we become unable to feel, unable to risk expressing love,  isolated with our fears and loneliness.   Finding the courage and the heart to rebuild a life that has meaning and brings joy requires the same skills of survivorship which begin by giving up being a victim and choosing life. 

The universal law of gravity is based on the fundamental force of attraction between bodies (objects of mass) which is what gravity in life should teach us.   We are all in this together and reacting to the losses that we sustain with the ability to reach out and give back is the basis on which we not only survive, but thrive.   Often it is not until the world seems to be coming apart that we begin to feel both compassion and connectedness to people, both that we know and that are strangers who have experienced a loss like ours. 

Early stages of recovery from tragedy happen as we lose our sense of being a victim and realize that we belong.  Joining groups of people who share similar experiences is a profoundly healthy response to finding meaning in your own experience.   Settling into a new and different life experience is heightened and more rewarding when we risk offering our help to others just beginning their journey.  

Experiencing our brokenness is where we get a heart that is cracked wide open.   A heart that has the both the strength to grieve,  the courage to forgive,  the tenacity to live in gravity.   

Event - From Oil Dependency to Local Resilience

This meeting has been organised by Transition Nottingham which is part of a network of pioneering communities working to reduce our impact on the climate and increase our resilience to the effects of Peak Oil.

SPEAKER: Rob Hopkins, Architect of the Transition movement, co-founder of the Transition Network and and Transition Totnes.

Date: Tuesday 27th May 2008 5.45 - 6.45pm
Venue: BioCity, Pennyfoot Street, Nottingham, NG1 1GF

Please download the event flyer for further information as well as www.transitionnottingham.org.uk

Please note this meeting is aimed at a business, professional and academic audience. It is additional to another event being organised by Transition Nottingham aimed a broader audience on the same evening, also with Rob Hopkins. The second event will be at the Nottingham Mechanics, North Sherwood St. at 7.30pm

Saving the earth- in style

When I first agreed to review Green Chic by Christie Matheson, I admit I was not prepared to be inspired.  Aside from the fact that the book arrived with another  unrequested book from the same publisher called  “Porn Stars Secrets of Sex”,  (note- bad practice for publicists)  the idea of combining the drive for style with earth friendly tips seemed dubious.    After all, it seems almost the purpose of fashion magazines to make us perpetual consumers. 

Although I have never  been much on following the latest style trends , having a family and  raising children who need the newest flair  or ever lowering  waistline to their jeans  has made me a consistent if reluctant consumer over and over again.  Green Chic  offers  well researched facts and suggestions  on everything  from home care, to transportation,  and  of course the fashionista staples of clothing, hair and makeup solutions.

What made me want to go back to Green Chic, was that Matheson, admits early on to being  a new environmentalist ,  and  she shares an  authentic journey of  transforming  her own life decisions based on her research.  I appreciated the places where she choose to  give up favorite fashion practices like nail polish as well as some that she couldn’t – deodorant.   Her honest  tone made the book  feel like a conversation I would have with a friend and not a preachy  list of “should do’s”.  

Where her book made a real impact in my own life choices was when I read the chapter about giving up  shopping bags.   From Christie,  I learned that  worldwide,  we use and throw away over a trillion shopping bags- Here in the US  that translates to  an average household disposing of  1000 plastic bags in a year.  Most of these bags end up in landfills where they take hundreds of years to degrade  and  because of their petroleum base they release toxic chemicals into the air, ground and water.  Even worse many bags end up in streams and rivers where they poison hundreds of thousands of animals per year.  The ten billion paper bags we use in this country, requires fourteen million trees to be cut down.  This is a problem where individual choices can go a long way.   And it felt  like a transformation of sorts, the day I decided I wasn’t  going to use another  disposable bag-paper or plastic.  So even when I have to run out to retrieve the bags from the car,  the satisfaction of  making this small but powerful change is liberating.  

Feeling free from any life habit inspires you to try out others and so the slow process of change which sustains itself  also inspires itself.    Christie’s also offers some great research for Bedroom accessories, which although it didn’t include my favorite love products, made a seriously good argument for organic cotton sheets.  Another shift I plan to investigate soon.  So even if you have never thought of yourself as fashion conscious ,  Green Chic is a great resource for  making informed and thoughtful choices on a  path to making your life greener and the world a little healthier.   

See the following link to purchase. www.amazon.com/Green-Chic-Saving-Earth-Style/dp/1402210825 

Interview with Carrotmob’s creator, Brent Schulkin

You may have seen a very interesting video knocking around the internet lately from the innovative organisation Carrotmob. In this video called ‘We Make it Rain‘ they use consumer power to turn a regular grocery store to a much more environmentally friendly one. I don’t want to give too much away, you really need to watch the video yourself, then read the interview below…

Carrotmob Makes It Rain from carrotmob on Vimeo.

Carrotmob’s ethos really appeals to me. It’s all about reaching those with the real power - businesses - to make actual, tangible changes. Plus this isn’t done through demonising business, negative pressure or boycott but actively encourages businesses to compete to become more environmentally friendly.Here at Green Girls Global we’re very lucky to be able to get an exclusive scoop on the genius behind Carrotmob, Brent Schulkin, and find out what inspires him, how Carrotmob works and where it’s going next….

Q1 Welcome Brent. The idea behind Carrotmob and your ‘We Make it Rain’ campaign is one of the most inspiring I’ve seen in ages because it really speaks to businesses in a language they understand - profit and competition. Where did you get the initial idea?

Why thank you! I started off thinking about the consumer side of the transaction. Several years ago, I read a book called Smart Mobs, by Howard Rheingold. It got me thinking about the power that can be created just by connecting groups of people into networks, and spurring those networks into action. Later I realized just how promising a network of consumers could be as a carrot to change corporate behavior. The idea of creating positive incentives for business to do good is not entirely new, but there are several recent developments that make now a good time for this approach to flourish: First, technology now allows us to easily connect and coordinate our activities like never before. Secondly, in the last couple years, environmentalism has gone mainstream. And third, we have a reputation economy, and companies are putting huge resources into protecting or improving their reputation. Moreover, these days bloggers and normal citizens have much more power over the reputation of businesses. In an age when companies are desperately trying to be seen as authentic and good, they have plenty of motivation to try and please an authentic grassroots network of consumers like us, since they know we have great power when it comes to defining their reputation.

Q2 How did you publicise your first campaign and gain so much support?

I emailed my friends, and then it turned out that people thought that the idea was interesting enough that it was worth forwarding the email to their friends. I would also give a lot of credit to Facebook and other social networks.

Q3 In the Make it Rain video we see a regular grocery store taking part and gaining some real financial benefits. How do you see the same principle translating to big businesses?

There’s something very attractive about having a community event, and focusing on local businesses. I want to keep doing that, and cultivate little Carrotmob franchises all around the world. However, in order to have a greater environmental impact, I’d like to see our main focus turn to big well-known brands. Once our network is big enough, we should be able to go to competing consumer products companies (who make things that your average consumer would want to buy) and have them compete to see how much good they are willing to do, relative to their competitors. It will be challenging to develop a system for comparing the proposed actions of companies that may be doing business in very different circumstances, but we’ll figure out how to do it, and then companies will do what they do best: compete for profits. I think we can use that competition to get them to commit to making significant improvements. And the nice thing about dealing with the heavy hitters is that even if they are only willing to do something relatively small, the impact would still be enormous compared to what a little grocer can do.

Q4 Does it matter what a businesses’ incentive is to improve its environmental practices?

The short answer is no, but I must make a few distinctions. There are privately held companies and publicly held companies. When some rich family owns a company, they can do anything they want with it. They can be greedy and pollute, or they can be environmentally responsible and make sustainable choices. They may be susceptible to arguments about morals, right and wrong, etc. But when you are dealing with publicly-held companies, you’re dealing with a cold machine that knows nothing of right and wrong. When you’ve got a gazillion stockholders and financial institutions calling the shots, profit is the only thing that matters. It is actually illegal for publicly-held companies in the US to do good unless that good is also profitable. That goes back to the Dodge brothers suing Henry Ford for trying to give some cash to his workers rather than his investors. But I digress. The point is that when you’re talking about these huge companies, there’s no point in asking what the business incentive is, because there is only ever one incentive: money. It’s an ironic situation, because lots of these companies are filled with people who have very strong morals, but even a company with Mother Teresa as a CEO can’t get around this situation. Imagine that Mother Teresa decides to take the profits of her oil company and spend billions of dollars to clean up old oil spills, give college scholarships to the children of all their workers, end world hunger and cure AIDS. The next fiscal quarter rolls around and shareholders find that they didn’t get to line their pockets as much as they expected. They have the power to fire Mother Teresa. They also have the power to sue. Mother Teresa isn’t calling the shots here, it’s the corporate entity itself that demands a focus on profit. Luckily, if a group like Carrotmob exists, we can translate good into profit. Mother Teresa COULD get away with it if she knew that in exchange for ending world hunger, Carrotmob would send more customers her way, her company’s reputation would soar, the other oil companies would struggle, and overall her company’s profits would go up. So we don’t have to worry about their motivations if we can find and embrace these mutually beneficial situations.

Q5 If someone wanted to start a Carrotmob style campaign in their home town how would they go about it? Do you have starter packs or campaign guides?

I would love to see some local campaigns get going. For now people can go to our list of cities and leave their contact info so that others can connect with them. Once we get on our feet a little more we will try to get some great resources and tools that people can use to coordinate their own campaigns. We want to have a central Carrotmob entity that deals with larger companies, and then a distributed grassroots network that uses our site to get things going in their own communities. We can do global AND local at the same time!

Q6 What other ways would you say consumers can work with businesses rather than against them to bring about change?

There is no other option. EVERYONE MUST JOIN CARROTMOB IMMEDIATELY. Ha ha. But seriously. There are a lot of options for socially responsible investing. Shareholder activism is great if you own shares of something. And people working inside companies can do a whole lot of innovation from within. Of course there are a lot of sticks out there as well. I’m advocating the carrot approach, but I don’t want us to drop our sticks and exclusively switch to carrots. It takes a team effort.

Q7 Can others join the Carrotmob movement and is there a place to share ideas?

Everyone is encouraged to join Carrotmob by visiting our site and joining the mailing list. You can also link up with us on:
Facebook
Myspace
Twitter
and Digg
You can share ideas by leaving comments all around the site or on the Facebook discussion board. The next version of the site should have a better forum for sharing.

Q8 What’s next for Carrotmob?

Ha ha, I’m working on it! At this point I still have another job part-time to pay rent, so it’d be nice to get some sort of funding so I can work full-time on this, but for now I’m thinking we will do another local campaign in another retail environment, on a larger scale. Help us spread the word and soon we will be the most powerful mob in all the land!

Thank you Brent. GGG wishes you lots of success with Carrotmob and do keep us in touch with your news.

Well you heard him, go spread the word about Carrotmob!!

www.carrotmob.org

Love on Earth

Not long ago, after agreeing to review another book for GGG on greening the fashion world, the publisher sent me a note saying that after reviewing my site www.goodcleanlove.com, she was also going to send another  new release that she thought I would be interested in; “Sex Secrets of Porn Stars”.    I wondered if she had actually read anything on my site, because after years of attending the big Vegas “Sex Shows”, it became increasingly clear that my corporate mission, brand identity and personal beliefs about the connection between love and sex was a universe removed from both the intent and content of the adult industry.   Giving into curiosity, I opened the book to the first page, where the author compares women we emulate like Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Margaret Mead with the famous women of the silver screen, who bare it all, the stars of pornography.  She suggests that if we would emulate these women (instead of great women’s rights leaders???) , we could all enjoy the pleasures of the flesh.  The plot thickens with the essentials on everything from the hair, make up and costume choices of porn stars to the borrowed positions and scripts to spice up one’s own love life.  

Ironically on the same day, I got a lengthy email from a New York literary agent that I had been corresponding with about publishing my work in book form.  Having made contact with her through a possible editor at a large publishing house I was anxious to hear her thoughts on how best to format the work.  She said although she liked my work, the relationship angle on the work involved in building and maintaining a sustainable relationships just wouldn’t sell nearly as well as a cute book about discovering and enjoying a more passionate life.  “Couldn’t you just write a book about finding more passion?  After all, you have this cute company that sells sex products…. Just downplay   all the hard work in relationships, people don’t really want to read about that.”

It occurred to me to send her “Sex Secrets of the Porn Stars”.  

I do sometimes feel like promoting my tag line of  “Making Love Sustainable” is a little like pushing a big rock up a steep hill.   We aren’t really a culture that applies the wisdom of sustainability to our most important relationships.  Often when I say it,  there is a thoughtful pause, as though the idea were completely new.  It isn’t just about promoting green and healthy products although the adult industry could certainly do with a green washing of it’s standard ingredients.   The deeper recognition is the idea that we might be willing to give up momentary happiness or the ease we expect our relationships to provide and actually commit to the work of making our relationships sustainable and lasting, with the same effort we would put into our homes, businesses and health. 

How far our collective reality is from this sustainable love model is evidenced in all of our cultural demographics from rising divorce statistics to the trends of young people who choose to “hook up” or be “friends with benefits” rather than engage in a committed relationship, to how common place pornography has become in our lives.   The percentages of people who participate in the on-line pornographic universe is startling- One in four adults spend four or more hours per week in sexual experiences that are cut off from the relationships that define their lives.  Many actually prefer these virtual relationships to the real live ones that fill their homes.  In a time when there has never been more opportunity and technology to connect to each other, we have never seen the incidence of this many people living alone.  

 That we don’t choose and stay in real love relationships is not that surprising as loving people is one of the most challenging and elevated skills that we are demanded to  develop as human beings.  Most of us come from families which gave us little useful information on the topic and if you are graduated from any public institution in the land,  then you know how little relationship skills are provided in the standard k-12 curriculum.  Even skills as basic as conflict resolution are not nearly as standard for children as geometry.  Given our collective history of war and pillage, you would think it might occur that loving each other is not ingrained in the human model, and that like other coveted skill groups we would set this as our highest level of mastery. 

Still, as complicated and messy as loving relationships can be, they are also the only avenue available to us that can provide the kind of mind blowing, “Wow- that was amazing”  sex that we all long for most.  Making love with someone that you deeply love is a singular experience that so unites the intimates involved that it transforms them. It is the proverbial glue that keeps the rest of the mess intact and inspires people to compassion and kindness that they may not even know they are capable of.   It is the truest part of what it means to be human and the act of love that accompanies it has the power to change the world.  

And change the world it does.    Loving someone is the largest single predictor or health and longevity.  As Dr. Dean Ornish said  “Love and intimacy are at the root of what makes us sick and what makes us well, what causes sadness and what brings happiness, what makes us suffer and what leads to healing…I am not aware of any other factor in medicine- not diet, not smoking, not exercise, not stress, not genetics, not drugs, not surgery- that has a greater impact on our quality of life, incidence of illness and premature death from all causes.”   Love is the cure as well as the illness in our world, and evolving our ability to love, increases not only our chances of survival but creates a depth and meaning in life that only happens in relationships.

The healing affects of intimacy and connection extend deeply into the physical act of lovemaking. Hundreds of major medical studies have shown that an active sex life leads to a longer life, better heart health, a healthier immune response, reduction in chronic pain symptoms, lower rates of depression and even protection against some cancers. Men who have regular sex (only twice per week) have half as many heart attacks as men who only have sex once per month. In fact, a regular garden variety sex life has been shown to extend life by as much as ten years. People who enjoy a meaningful sex life are less anxious, fearful and inhibited.

So now that you are sold on the benefits of  love and intimacy,  lets also reveal the unspoken truth  about sustaining love over time, which  is that loving someone else and allowing yourself to be deeply loved is an act of heroic patience, intention and commitment.   After the honeymoon wears off, (and I promise it always will)  we humans  are all as annoying as we are loveable.   Accepting that as fact and then building the skills to undertake the daily problem solving of loving,  is not only wise, but a prerequisite for enjoying the kind of sex that can change your world.  Stay tuned here as we continue to explore new regions of the heart and the delights of sustainable love.  Please Share your stories of keeping your love vital and healthy too.

This post originally seen at www.realitysandwich.com/sustainable_love  has created quite a stir.  The range of experiences and beliefs about what love means is some of the most fascinating and deeply revealing reading we can do.  Check it out and let me know what you think.

Regenerating your life- start in your bedroom

Walking into your bedroom should make your heart rate slow down.  It should be the place where you sigh deeply and your whole body relaxes.  The bedroom is your nest.  A singular  space that both regenerates you on a cellular level every night as you sleep and provides the environment and impetus for physical intimacy.  As the place where we love deeply,  procreate our next generation and regenerate ourselves our bedroom is deservedly the sanctuary for  our sanity. 

Don’t let the world into your nest.  Guard the sanctity of the space by keeping the world at bay at the door.  I know there are many late night TV lovers who will argue the point here, but I still say that a television in the bedroom is one voice too many, especially if you are in a committed relationship that is fragmented by the busyness of life.  Same goes for newspapers and news magazines.  Watch and read in the living room, the kitchen, the bathroom if you must, but leave the bedroom to the wonder of silence and soft voices.  (OK, I will give into a little night music sometimes, but not a radio…).  The older I get the more convinced I am that life must provide a retreat or we wither on the vine.   There are numerous sleep studies that back me up on this- screens and sleep are incompatible and of little help in jump starting an intimate life.  

There are an abundance of resources on greening your home, so if you are already in that groove, then I apologize for preaching to the choir.  But if you are just beginning to apply the benefits of sustainability to your living space, there is no more satisfying place to start than your bedroom.   Your bed is the place that you spend almost as many hours as any other place in your life.  If you are up for a new one, look for all those cool natural materials that don’t off-gas – like wool, organic cotton or natural latex.  It’s pricey but you’re worth it.  Also if you are going to spring for any luxury in life, make it cotton sheets- organic preferably, but truly the difference over time of beloved cotton sheets compared with the poly-cotton versions are dream worlds apart.  (Check out the options at www.ecobedroom.com)  

Without beating a dead drum it is worth repeating what most of us already know:  We are one of the most exhausted cultures of all time;  so much for all the leisure time that our new information age/economy was going to provide.  Celebrate the gift of rest and how incredible it feels to wake up refreshed.  The world really does look different through fresh eyes, although admittedly this is a practice that I wish I was better at.

For many of us,  it is challenging to feed our need for intimacy and physical contact with the same energy that we bring to the selection and preparation of our food shopping and cooking habits.  Giving your time to composting and recycling is no different than finding the space to air out your feelings.  Making commitments to simplify your life and reducing impact on the environment requires the same amount of mental energy as constructing the space and time for deep and meaningful interactions in your days.

The healing affects of intimacy and connection extend deeply into the physical act of lovemaking.  Hundreds of major medical studies have shown that an active sex life leads to a longer life, better heart health, a healthier immune response, reduction in chronic pain symptoms, lower rates of depression and even protection against some cancers. Men who have regular sex (only twice per week) have half as many heart attacks as men who only have sex once per month. In fact, a regular garden variety sex life has been shown to extend life by as much as ten years. People who enjoy a meaningful sex life are less anxious, fearful and inhibited.   Greening your love and your bedroom has the power to extend out to the world in ways that we can barely imagine. It’s a worthy practice that can only make life more sustainable.

Book review: Big Green Purse by Diane MacEachern

From the age of 12 when I decided to become a vegetarian I understood and felt very strongly about the power of the consumer. Back then it was more about boycotting things (well asking my mum not to put meat in my dinner) rather than using my pocket money to protest because, really, how much weight can you throw around with a few pounds a week?

Nevertheless, now that I’m grown up with a proper bank account rather than a piggy bank those values are still important and this is why the Big Green Purse instantly appealed to me.

The aim of this book is to highlight to women the power of their spending and how they can use it in a way that is positive for the environment and for their health.

Although most of the facts and figures relate to American laws and culture the points in this book will still ring true in other countries as it tackles the issues of every day life.

The beginning of the book starts with some inspiring stories of how consumers have already effected change in the manufacture of products such as cars, nail polish and tea. Diane then asks her readers to pledge to shift $1,000 of their annual spending to green products. That’s roughly £500 right now for us in the UK and I think entirely ‘do-able’ especially when you think of all of the areas of spending covered in your life and this book:

• Cosmetics and personal care products
• Cars
• Food and drink
• Cleaning products
• Gardening
• Kid’s stuff
• Electricals
• Home decoration and furnishings

There is a strong theme on personal health as well as environmental health and as this book is aimed at women this includes issues around pregnancy and babies too. Although shocking I think it was necessary to include some of the findings on how the chemicals we’re exposed to can pass on to our unborn children. Even more shocking is the fact that we’re allowed to be exposed to these chemicals but this is very motivating too. It encourages you to read on and find out what we can do about it.

The Big Green Purse shows us how we can shop smarter, how to look out for greenwash, how to understand jargon and acronyms and what the multitude of badges and labels really mean. Throughout the book Diane provides suggestions on good brands to look out for but doesn’t shy away from telling us which companies might need a nudge in the green direction too.

I personally like the checklists which give you the opportunity to think about your own day to day activies and spending such as “How much do you drive?” and “How much [cleaner] do you use?”. This is a great way to get that particular chapter’s subject matter into context for you right at the start.

Diane realistically recognises that greener options such as organic can be more expensive which means sometimes this isn’t a option but her first principle is always to buy less and consume less and I think we would all agree with that. She provides money saving tips and ideas too.

This is a lengthy and detailed book and its clear that Diane has researched it thoroughly but she breaks it down in a digestible way using prompts and symbols which means it could read just as well from cover to cover or as a reference.

What I’d like to see next is a similar book for men. Although Diane’s target audience is women because they “spend $.85 of every dollar in the marketplace” men are still the big earners and its important for everyone to understand the valuable lessons here.

Check out the website at www.biggreenpurse.com