If you were one of the millions waiting for the last minutes of yesterday’s superbowl, then you saw the million dollar invitation by Victoria’s Secret. A bigger than life beautiful girl, dropping the football and mouthing the words that millions of guys dream of hearing. I have to admit it was tasteful and said what [...]

“You are what you love, not what loves you. That’s what I decided a long time ago.” I have remembered this concluding line of a conversation between Nicolas Cage and himself (when he played the twin writer brothers in the 2002 movie “Adaptation”) for over five years. I have many times thought back on it [...]

When it comes to resolutions, think small and work to remain consistent.  Someone told me a long time ago that if you can change any area of your life by a consistent five percent, the effects will be remarkable.   The truth of this is mirrored in the reality of global warming.   Even changes of a [...]

Every now and again we are given the gift of true presence. Usually it is when we are faced with the stark reality of life ending, whether it is through the death of someone or something beloved. The details that we often think of as life itself, fall away and the mystery of our frail [...]

Language is the metaphor we use to communicate our deepest feelings.  A couple’s sexuality is the most profound vehicle of communication of all.  The words we use and our physical language of love define our love experience. Penetration is the word often used to describe the culminating act of sexuality. It’s a word I often [...]

“Gratitude is the heart’s memory.”  French proverb I have generally not been a sports fan in life, but living with my husband for over 20 years and raising two sons has trained me in the importance of “the game”.  Tonight we shared a real loss as we watched the dreams of our star quarterback slip [...]

…You see things as you are.”   This quote from the Talmud reflects truly how we live.  Our filters of life events are always clouded by how we feel, what we are thinking, how we are judging in that moment.   What is the objective view?  We use scientific models of double blind studies as a [...]

I have many friends who not only rarely sleep with their husbands, they can’t even talk about it. I would go even further and suggest that most of their conversations probably move them further away from intimacy than towards it. Connecting with our verbal language has it’s limits- especially since men and women, don’t just [...]

I recently read a beautifully written article about one woman’s account of the journey through breast cancer treatment. During this time, she was teaching writing to inmates in jail. She compared her experience so articulately when she said that they both wanted the same thing- “We both wanted out, or rather, a way back in [...]

When I teach about the Ecology of Love and talk about the water that lives between people I often use the term “showing up” to describe the flow that happens in relationships. In relationships, like the ocean, there is an ebb and tide to how we are present for each other, but if the water [...]